urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74 ..I'LL Let You Break IT..] SUCK MY KISS 2004-12-20T16:39:08Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:51595 2004-12-20T16:39:08Z 2004-12-20T16:39:08Z your just bad news urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:51231 2004-12-18T11:36:31Z 2004-12-18T12:21:38Z i turned 18 yay an...i hung out with Dez,,Turtle an cass...yay.<br />turtle taught me how to drive a stick an damnit im so awesome <br />mwhahaa...i had a good night...but wait thats because im <br />leaving out the part where we got pulled over by the cops an two of us almost<br />had to go jail :X eck!!!<br /><br /><br />i havent written in this thing in forever weeeeeeeeeeeee<br /><br /><br />i love dez an right about now thats the only person&lt;333<br /><br /><br />Dez" boys are shitty to us because its are karma coming back on us"<br />Me" No shit"<br /><br /><br />Your just a mistake ill get over it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:50591 2004-06-01T15:45:40Z 2004-06-01T15:45:40Z okay this weekend was incredibly loong i didnt do a hell of a lot hung out with gene aj an jole face....cool people...until there ends up being drama for no reason what so ever...but its love i guess...<br /><br />I'd type out my weekend but im way to tired for that an it would be way to long...<br /><br />Im going to disneyland with my niki which will be awesome because well it just will be &lt;333<br /><br /><br />i have so much going on in my head i dont know what to say...<br /><br />im running off 2 1/2 hours of sleep so im dead right now.,..i guess i know not to stay on the phone til the early hours of the morning...being on the phone is weird when your basically anti phone but jole face sings me AFI and the used an even incubus so its all worth it i suppose...<br /><br /><br />i need sleep... <br /><br />teddy is visiting me today...i feel oober special :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:50237 2004-05-28T18:56:12Z 2004-05-28T18:56:12Z All i do at school is read lyrics...thats my education...<br /><br /><br />"Smile for the camera sweet heart, I really want to immortalize this moment" but just remember the first step in forgetting is destroying all the evidence.<br /><br />I thought you had me forever.<br />But I'm sure you thought the same about me.<br /><br /><br />Ever so sweet...<br />you make this seem<br />the way things go<br />its not my fault<br />and i'll miss<br />i'll miss you so good<br />through all of those nights<br />we lost our way back home<br /><br /><br />Alone at last<br />together in a photograph.<br />Our eyes are always open<br />devoted to perfection through silence.<br /><br />I wake up and think dreams are real<br />I sleep so I don't have to feel<br />the truth that you can never be<br />the one person that won't ever forget me<br /><br /><br /><br />yeah whatever &lt;333 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:50160 2004-05-26T16:46:53Z 2004-05-26T18:13:45Z &lt;333 niki alejo made my day yesterday...not for any reason really just because haha we take photoshoots and get mad at dave for stealing my glasses that ive havent got to wear yet!! &lt;333<br /><br />Gene came over yesterday and he left me a hott finch shirt on my bed i love it :)<br /><br />.............<br /><br />I've been thinking about it alot but for some reason...yesterday i really thought about it...<br /><br />dont ever put yourself in a situtation where you feel like your wasting feelings...it doesnt make you very happy...<br /><br />i feel like im just holding on to something thats never going to be mine again, i still feel the way i felt the first time i met him and the worst part is...he probably doesnt even care...i remember every little conversation...every hug...every kiss...every time i felt good about myself because i made him smile... now i'll i know is how hard it is not to see him ...or kiss him or hug him or...make him smile which is stupid of me because i let myself think about this and it only leads to me pretending im happy to make my self feel better...ive let people in my life so i can try an feel something that feels empty ...<br /><br />it makes u feel like shit when u feel a certain way about someone that doesnt feel the same way about you... <br /><br />i know ive said it before...but i guess... i should really try this time...to let it go...because sitting here wishing we were together doesnt get me anywhere...<br /><br />i should have listend when they told me he would break my heart urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:49917 2004-05-25T18:53:26Z 2004-05-25T18:53:26Z <h3>I fill my head with your voice...<h3><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> <h4>...And now I'm drowning<h4></h3></h3></h4></h4> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:49603 2004-05-24T16:04:00Z 2004-05-24T16:04:00Z This weekend was sooooooo ...i dont know <br /><br /><br />Friday i didnt do alot....which is probably a good thing...teddy came to visit me on his break though which was....good...i missed him, sometimes u just need a little teddy in your life &lt;3 :)<br /><br />when juan got off me her an niki went to mels and i got water spilled ALLLLLL over me :( but its okay because it was just water :)<br /><br />i dont remember what i did on saturday....nothing to exciting prolly<br /><br />yesterday i did the hang out with my brother thing and then me an juan went to starbucks and hung out with gene and aj met francis and i met the incredible JOel lol hessssssssss a DORK... but in the best way possible...<br /><br />my weekend...lacked... Niki...that little buttface &lt;333<br /><br />haha its okay because the more we dont do anything...the more partying we'll do in a couple weeks right haha :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:49392 2004-05-21T15:33:23Z 2004-05-21T15:33:23Z ...well yesterday i was confused i thought it was friday haha im so behind<br /><br />...before i wake was awesome<br /><br />..i was in and out of school yesterday barely went to first period left 5th period and came back to 6th just to turn around and leave again...<br /><br />me an niki went to my house and watched cant buy me love... NIKI DO YOU LIKE LONG DISTANT RELATIONSHIPS? NO?!! THEN WHY DONT U REACH OUT AN TOUCH SOMEONE :P<br /><br />when niki decided to leave gene came ova and we watched the last samuari i loved it, it made me cry but i none the less loved it :( we had a cuddle threesome on the couch because..well damnit i need some love haha so after that we left an ran around for a while an decided we would feed our tummys so jalisco we went...<br /><br />we went to go rent u got served and stuck on you...we went to hollywood...and gene made us go inside i thought he was goin to go smoke or something but when i looked out of the window i saw him talking to the homeless guy on the corner...2 minutes later he pulled out his wallet and i realized that some people just have the best hearts &lt;333<br /><br /><br />Teddy i know u randomly read my journal...come visit me an give me some hugs damnit! &lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:48965 2004-05-20T18:25:12Z 2004-05-20T18:25:38Z ....Okay so i finally think i have an idea about what i want to do with my life...i think i want to go to school in sac...be an R.N. ...<br /><br />...<br />- i want to make someone smile...<br /><br />- make someone nervous<br /><br />- give someone a hug <br /><br />- i want to sit on a couch an watch my favorite movies with someone i adore...<br /><br />- i want to buy niki a house...so she has a home when she leaves me<br /><br />- i want to gain 10 pounds? <br /><br />- i want to go to New York...<br /><br />- i want to move away... who wants to come with me? : /<br /><br />* i want to...hug my friend and tell him ive missed his goofy faces, and his kisses?<br /><br />maybe i want to much... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:48714 2004-05-19T07:12:04Z 2004-05-19T07:12:04Z * Today was my debate it was HORRIBLE lol but if you asked me if i cared id probably say no hehehe...<br /><br />*LUNCH was GOOD really really good and only niki would understand why...hmm haha people really have a thing with getting my clothes dirty... i have a goal to accomplish before the end of school lol<br /><br />* Me an niki came home an she took my clothes an ate my food DAMNIT NIKI HOW OFTEN ARE U GONNA DO THAT AFTER WE GRADUATE? NEVER :(<br /><br />*Gene an Aj came over we watched peter pan well i watched like 20 mins of it an i passed out my nap was good except for where aj threw stuff at me an gene start molesting my face SICKO :p <br /><br />* Then off to fairfield i went...me an juan visited Joshua i havent seen him in a bagillion years hes great woopie!...<br /><br />im graduating...im scared.....<br /><br />i still miss him....thats scary too....<br /><br />i cant write anymore...<br /><br />&lt;333 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:48218 2004-05-14T20:36:02Z 2004-05-14T20:36:02Z ...when its not right...<br /><br />...it makes it that much better... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:47905 2004-05-12T18:21:05Z 2004-05-12T18:21:05Z Ive been feeling like shit for weeks now...so now i think im just gonna pretend like nothing hurts anymore...i dont care about anything anymore...at least im trying not to...<br /><br />Niki asked me if i was still here...the truth is im really not....<br /><br /><br />The sadness comes when it's least expected <br />It shot out of the dark, and slammed in our face <br />The hurt it brings can't be stopped <br />The hurt it brings can't be cured, <br /><br />Just when I thought things were alright <br />You came in and broke my heart <br />My stomach's full of butterflies <br />The thought of you gone, it tears me apart <br /><br />I remember you and me when we used to <br />Laugh all night until we fell asleep, oh <br />And i know we're through <br />But i've still got thoughts of you left inside my head <br /><br />Well... in my head... <br /><br />The love that I have for you <br />Is done and dead, it's so far away <br />And you're still here in my head <br />And you're still here, you'll never leave my heart <br /><br />So stop me now <br />Stop my thoughts cause you're killin me <br />But you don't know <br />Even though we've grown apart <br />I'll still be there for you <br />Cause I don't wanna be just a memory to you <br /><br />.......... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:47844 2004-05-10T15:44:24Z 2004-05-10T15:44:24Z this weekend was actually good...<br /><br />me an niki saw mean girls an then she made me an colin play sex!!!!!!!!! haha perv!!! im just kidding i love u alejo u sexxie son ofa biatch<br /><br /><br />saturday i was suppose to hang out with gene and aj but... i hung out wtih juanita an cassi we went to this amazing hill with this guy josh...it was the prettiest thing ever...then we went to vallejo for jayme's party I HATE BEEEEEEEEEEER ewwwwww but seeing jayme and will was good &lt;333 after that i think i fell asleep a couple times i was so tired...cassi an me got into a argument because she wanted to go to elk grove? yeah but i didnt feel good...friends are great <br /><br />haha...gene asked me out last night?? i dont know why we've hung out once hes a really good friend why mess that up ...but he is still going to take me on a date opppppppppie lol <br /><br />IM GONNA DO JOE'S HAIR ON FRIDAY...ILL BE THINKING OF IDEAS ALL WEEK :)<br /><br /><br />****<br /><br />I THINK IM STARTING TO MAKE MYSELF FORGET THAT I CANT HAVE HIM ANYMORE...IM GONNA GET OVER IT SOMEHOW JUST AS LONG AS ME AN HIM ARE FRIENDS THATS ALL THAT MATTERS RIGHT? YEAH I GUESS...IF ONLY OTHER GUYS MADE ME FEEL THE WAY HE DID IT WOULD BE SO EASY urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:46084 2004-05-04T15:30:37Z 2004-05-04T15:30:37Z This week will be interesting....<br /><br /> But we'll see where it goes...<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /> Saturday needs to hurry up and get here &lt;333 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:45981 2004-05-03T16:13:57Z 2004-05-03T16:13:57Z last week was so retarded i was brarely in school...so it was like a week long vacation...<br /><br />friday i hung out with teddy...which is always awesome,time goes by way to fast when your hanging out wtih someone you adore &lt;33<br /><br />then i hung out with my niki eeeeeee<br /><br />i talk to josh on friday...and i made him mad...nothing new...but its only because i mess up all the time...and i guess you can say it hurts him...hes the only boy i go out of my way to talk to on the phone lol....even though he was mad at me and told me how impossible i am...and how im a player and i cant be committed to anything...(which i dont think is that true) he came over and yelled at me some more...while we sat and listened to mayer... &lt;333 i love how he yells at me an reminds me of everything bad ive ever done to him an still tells me he loves me...:) ...we'll manage to be awesome friends one day...<br /><br />i met gene and aj this weekend...actually meeting people you already talk to is always great :) <br /><br />me an armando decided that our mission for saturday...is to currupt juanita....she needs to experience things every once in a while...and now she has a bf to do it with lol &lt;33333333<br /><br /><br />so ive decided with josh behind my reasoning...that im gonna try and change...im not as good of a person as i think i am i guess...everytime i get into a deep conversation with someone...they end up telling me how ive hurt them...or what not...<br /><br />im not impossible :( <br /><br />im just...waiting for you ... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:45777 2004-04-29T21:36:34Z 2004-04-29T21:36:34Z this week has been totally pointless not going to school til 1 and sitting in a class for twenty minutes is so un called for...<br /><br />ive been with niki running around doing retarded things because thats what we do..<br /><br />today we went to breakfast with my best friend...Joe mani has the best gay voice in the world bleeeeeeeeeeh<br /><br />went with niki to get her nails done for that prom thingy...<br /><br />went to target...to visit teddy...hes beautiful... :/ i miss him... BUT ANYWAYS i fucked up so i have to deal with it..<br /><br />i love mae <br /><br /><br />OK OK RANDOM BUT IN OUR SCHOOL NEWSPAPRER THERE IS A SAME SEX COUPLE THATS WEIRD...SEX ARTICLES AND ALL THIS MUMBLE JUMBLE THIS SCHOOL IS RETARDED<br /><br /><br />I started to ache when I started to think of you.<br />Wondering how long it would take before I step into something new. <br />There's only so much I can fake. <br />There's only so much that I can prove. <br />Well, do you get it in a minute, I could go play the fool for you.<br /><br />Lights, camera, action, I think I'm going for it this time. <br />There's something you should listen to. <br />Could I take you for a car ride? <br />This is the soundtrack for our movie. <br />Would you tell me when we get to the best part?<br />I'll play it for you.<br />Oh no, I think I've lost this one. <br />Can we try again?<br /><br /><br /><br />YDDET IS COOL urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:45553 2004-04-27T21:29:40Z 2004-04-27T21:29:40Z So gay So Gay...i sat in the gym for a pointless hours woopie...i servived though...<br /><br /><br />Niki with her COffee came just for me &lt;333<br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000001.jpg"><br />i just thought that was cute...<br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000002.jpg"><br />AMBUH NIKI AN MEEE....<br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000003.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000004.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000005.jpg"><br /><br />And then there was spencer..just as bored as me<br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000006.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000007.jpg"><br /><br />And then when i was done with the pictures and semi dancing with ambuh<br />me an niki got out of that shat and we ended up on the freeway to the mall yip<br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000008.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00431254f00000009.jpg"><br /><br />yowzers urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:45009 2004-04-20T19:48:30Z 2004-04-20T20:17:18Z haha so today i didnt go to school it was dentist day eeeeccky... but i decided i would take stupid dorky pics of me and juan on our way yaay...<br />FIRST WE SAT AT HOME AND TOOK RETARDED ONES<br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000012.jpg"><br /><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000011.jpg"><br />THEn when you in the car listening to the cure you just start clicking <br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000001.jpg"><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000004.jpg"><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000005.jpg"><br /><br />and even though the sky is ugly and your not in the best mood you smile anyway...because the cure is telling you your going to be in love on friday lol yeah right but i smiled anyway<br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000002.jpg"><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000006.jpg"><br /><img src="http://photos.fotango.com/p/eba00429665f00000009.jpg"><br /><br />yeah an now my mouth is numb and its great <br /><br />I LOVE NIKI ALEJO urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:44743 2004-04-19T05:11:01Z 2004-04-19T05:12:04Z ... You cant kill me if im already dead...<br /><br /><br />i dont know how to update this shit anymore <br /> my feelings are all over the place...<br /><br /><br />i guess i could say im sad...i am<br /><br />but when you loose somthing that wasnt totally there you can<br /><br />just hope that maybe someday you'll get a chance to make it work<br /><br /><br />i wish it could have worked<br /><br /><br /><br />Wrap me up in a dream with you<br />Close up these eyes, try not to cry<br />All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:44303 2004-04-14T22:50:39Z 2004-04-14T23:56:15Z mmm juanita says the meaniest shit sometimes...or she says what im afraid to think yeah either one...<br /><br />ecckyness...i havent updated this crap in hella days an i dont have anything good to say...<br /><br />niki left today....<br /><br />juanita....an armando an doin there thing...<br /><br />teddy.. came back yesterday.....<br /><br />******************<br /><br />theres alot i want to say to u...<br />but i dont know if i can anymore...<br />theres somthing different about the way you said hello<br />i dont know if im gonna make it through <br />all these lies are built up inside of my head<br />an im trying to figure out what to say<br /><br />id leave u alone but i dont know how..<br />ur the only thing that gets my through my days urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:44164 2004-04-08T18:39:51Z 2004-04-08T18:39:51Z By the way you brought me here, <br />It makes believe,<br />the best is still yet to come,<br />and I don't want to leave. <br />Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you. <br />Help me to dream these dreams <br />because I don't have a clue.<br /><br />If you'd be honest and say what you mean you know I<br />would promise I'd do anything <br />because I know that without you I'm giving it away.<br /><br />Is this what you wanted? <br />Cause I'm willing to change. <br />Now that I'm certain,<br />there's much more to gain. <br />You've introduced me to the moment <br />but I'm looking to stay for good. <br />You asked me to stay forever. <br />Well, you know that<br />I would, I would do anything.<br /><br /><br />The nights are forever and maybe I'm wrong, <br />but it feels like I'm so lost without you. <br />So I step towards the heat, it's the way I can see, <br />and it makes me believe that it's you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:44014 2004-04-06T16:19:23Z 2004-04-06T18:45:17Z I'm never speaking up again<br />It only hurts me<br />I'd rather be a mystery<br />Than he desert me<br /><br />Oh I'm never speaking up again<br />Starting now<br />~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />Niki makes me feel better even when i think its not possible...shes the one person that REALLY understands me without even trying...i guess thats why i call her my best friend...even though shes so much more than that...<br /><br /> i love how when i feel like shit for some reason<br /> i know its my fault...it always is...<br /><br />*I never wanted us to fade out<br />Resting on a love that fell apart<br />Where are you, I need you<br />You still have my heart*<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Tear me off a piece of blanket<br />keep me warm and we can make it<br />Here's my heart, I'll let you break it<br />Touched your skin and I can't take it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:43591 2004-04-06T07:03:56Z 2004-04-06T07:03:56Z i really hate the way i feel right now<br /><br />feelings are stupid they just make u think way to much ,.,.even about the stupidest things...<br /><br />im worried about shit i shouldnt even care about...because i should know the difference between assuming shit an whats real i guess<br /><br />if i didnt like u soo fucking much this would be a hell of alot more easier for me... <br /><br />someone make it easy again...i never used to care...so why is it different this time...<br /><br />...its u<br /><br /><br />FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK<br /><br />&lt;/3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:43344 2004-04-04T19:56:30Z 2004-04-04T19:56:30Z awwwww i finally got to see my hubby yesterday hes incredible...even tho hes mean to me hehe<br /><br />awwwwwwwwww hes leaving me soon what a sad sad story...i dont know what im gonna do :( ...teddy is amazing an ....i ono&lt;333333333333333333333333<br /><br /><br /><br />thank u teddy ::kiss:: urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:maybememories74:43097 2004-03-31T20:50:59Z 2004-03-31T20:50:59Z TEDDY is leaving me YAAAAAAAAAAY :(<br /><br />San Diego is taking my &lt;3 away...<br /><br /><br />yeah me an lisa will find something to do her bf is leaving her too stupid boys!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />"See me down<br />so you get down<br />No you've got me all wrong<br />I just want to kiss your lips<br />and you kiss back"